Silence...

No one allows for Mom's to have too many flaws, some are acceptable because, well because people finally realized that a Mom is still *gasp* a human being. However, there is a limit to the flaws we accept when said Mom  verbalizes that she does not get happiness from her children. Don't misunderstand this by assuming that this Mom is mean and insensitive. This Mom is seeking something else, something that at the end of the day won't be taken from her when her children go off to college. Sometimes, joy has been an elusive feeling not just for her but for her own mother and so on. Yes, I am referring to the silent suffering of: Depression.

When I had my children, everyone will tell you that I was over the moon, I cuddled, I kissed, I cooked, however, on the inside there had always been seeds of insecurities and generations of silent suffering that I was unwilling to verbalize lest someone think me ungrateful for having my amazing children.

I didn't reach out, I didn't speak about my increasing feelings of guilt over the my uncontrollable sadness. Culturally we are told that the cure all for this is to "get over it". I tried that. Medically we are told to take these and call your doctor when you feel better. Brief stint of that. However, I want to reach out to that person (because I know Depression is not exclusive to Moms) that may need that push to get help, to get moving, to get cooking, to get out there and start living a life that is balanced and dependent not on others, not on any one thing, but a collection of many.

You are not alone. You are not a bad parent for being depressed. You are amazingly created to live a joy-filled life, take that journey with me.

Con Amor (with love),
Bere